Chuck Norris Drives a Nissan GT-R

NissanPedia — Thu, 18 Mar 2010 13:26:44 +0000

This is the best automotive related rumor I’ve heard since Ford announced Taurus would return to dealer lots: Chuck Norris drives a Nissan GT-R. Yes fans, this past week Norris drove into a bar and it exploded because it couldn’t handle awesomeness, oh and he turned 70.

Apparently, he purchased a Nissan GT-R to celebrate. In honor of this joyous event (which we REALLY hope turns out to be fact) we go to Auto Fiends and some of the best Chuck Norris/GT-R jokes ever:

Newton’s Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal to a GT-R.

A tsunami that hit the Oregon Coast reportedly caused by an earthquake in Japan was actually the result of early engine dyno runs by the GT-R.

If you tattoo GT-R on your chest you will instantly become a superhero with the ability to take down Batman, Superman, Spiderman and the Hulk all together in a cage fight.

Scientists have estimated that the energy given off during the Big Bang is roughly equal to the GT-R idling at rest.

In honor of GT-R, all McDonald’s in Japan have an even larger size than the super-size. When ordering, just ask to be GT-R-sized.

Han Solo thought the Millennium Falcon was fast until he drove the GT-R.

The grass is always greener on the other side, unless a GT-R has driven by. In that case the grass is now scorched earth.

When taking the SAT, write “GT-R” for every answer. You will get a perfect score.

If you Google search “GT-R getting its ass kicked” you will generate zero results. It just doesn’t happen.

Driving a GT-R Walter Rohrl completed TWO full laps of the Nurburgring in 7.48. He can no longer bring himself to drive a Porsche and will demo the GT-R’s air conditioning at Nissan press launches.

Luke was conceived in the back seat of a GT-R.

The GT-R has no tachometer. Its engine speed is measured on the Richter Scale.

The GT-R doesn’t need or want a HEMI.

There are no “GT-R Kill” threads on any automotive forum. A GT-R can’t be beat.

The GT-R holds the lap record for every Formula One Grand Prix track ever used.

The GT-R can touch MC Hammer. In fact the GT-R ran his ass over.

Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears GT-R pajamas.

From now on The Stig will only drive the GT-R.

When the GT-R launches. It isn’t moving forward, it’s pushing the Earth back.

Diamonds can be created by driving the GT-R over lumps of coal.

The GT-R has no windshield wipers. The GT-R is too fast for rain to touch it.

Used oil from the GT-R isn’t recycled. It’s used as the major ingredient in energy drinks.

Nothing can escape the gravity of a black hole, except for a GT-R.

There are two types of cars…cars that suck, and the GT-R.

Upon hearing that a GT-R will run Le Mans next year, Audi pulled out.

Gran Turismo 5 will only have one car—the GT-R. Everything else is now redundant.

The speed of light is equal to the GT-R’s top speed…in first gear.

The GT-R made the Kessel run in less than SIX par secs.

There is no such thing as a lesbian, just a woman who has never been on a date with a guy in a GT-R.

Running the GT-R’s A/C with the windows down will reverse global warming. On max it will cause the next Ice Age.

In Jurassic Park, the Tyrannosaurus Rex wasn’t chasing the jeep. A GT-R was chasing the Tyrannosaurus AND the jeep.

Pic: Jalopnik | Jokes: Auto Fiends

2010 Nissan GT-R – Higher Specs = Higher Price

NissanPedia — Wed, 18 Mar 2009 16:14:23 +0000

Nissan has dropped the specs for its 2010 GT-R and both performance and speed have been given a significant from last year’s model. Unfortunately, Godzilla may be suffering from a financial crisis, or at least potential owners of this foreign hell raiser will take notice, that higher specs equals higher price tags.

2010′s Nissan GT-R comes with an increase in horsepower for their 3.8 liter twin-turbo V6, propelling the GT-R to 485 horse power, over the 480 of 2009′s model. GT-R’s new Transmission Control Module helps smooth out the gear shifting, while suspension has been re-tuned with new shocks and different spring and damper rates. New 20-inch RAYS forged aluminum alloy wheels now come in a darker, near-black finish.

So, how much will a 2010 GT-R put you back? Somewhere in the range of $80,000 to $84,000. Ouch. The new 2010 GT-R will be available from selected Nissan dealers. For a list of the roughly 700 certified dealers, visit Nissanusa.com, and read full details on specs and pricing in the Nissan press release below.

March may be the month known for madness, lions and lambs, but at Nissan North America, Inc. (NNA), the biggest roar is coming from the early introduction of the new 2010 Nissan GT-R supercar, including a number of important enhancements. Specifically, five additional horsepower, a revised suspension, updated wheel finishes and standard front seat- and roof-mounted curtain side-impact supplemental air bags.

First introduced in the United States in July 2008, the Nissan GT-R earned near universal acclaim, including being named Motor Trend “2009 Car of the Year,” Automobile magazine’s 2009 “Automobile of the Year”, and winning Kelly Blue Book’s “2009 Best Resale Value Award.”

For 2010, the horsepower rating of the GT-R’s 3.8-liter twin-turbo V6 engine has increased to 485 hp (from 480 hp) and the car’s high-performance, 6-speed, dual-clutch transmission receives new Transmission Control Module (TCM) programming designed to optimize clutch engagement for improved drivability, and improve vehicle acceleration with the Vehicle Dynamic Control (VDC) on (activated). In addition, the braking system has been updated with more rigid brake lines for improved durability, and the brake calipers now carry both the Brembo and Nissan logos. Finally, the GT-R’s state-of-the-art suspension has been retuned with redesigned Bilsteinâ shocks with a new valve body design and revised spring and damper rates.

The base GT-R model is now equipped with slightly darker, high-luster, smoke finish for the 20-inch RAYS forged aluminum-alloy wheels, while a new “near-black” metallic wheel finish is standard on the Premium model. For 2010, one new color – Pearl White – is offered, while the Super Silver exterior color has been enhanced to include a polished front bumper.

For 2010, the Nissan GT-R will again be offered in two models – GT-R and GT-R Premium. All 2010 Nissan GT-Rs are equipped with a standard 3.8-liter twin turbo V6 backed by an advanced paddle-shifted, dual clutch rear transmission and a world’s first independent rear transaxle ATTESA E-TS all-wheel drive system. The Manufacturer’s Suggested Retail Price (MSRP)* is $80,790 for the GT-R, and $83,040 for the GT-R Premium model. Destination & Handling (D&H) is $1,000.

Two options and two accessories are available for the 2010 GT-R: The Cold Weather Package (no charge); Special Super Silver Paint ($3,000); iPodâ Converter ($400); and carpeted GT-R floor mats ($280). Complete pricing information is available on the attached sheet.

The 2010 GT-R will be available only through officially certified Nissan retailers that have met a number of strict sales, service and facility commitments, including dedicating a master technician to GT-R service, on March 21, 2009. A complete listing of the nearly 700 GT-R Certified Nissan dealers is available to consumers on NissanUSA.com.

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Chuck Norris Drives a Nissan GT-R

2010 Nissan GT-R – Higher Specs = Higher Price